In today’s episode, Avery, Jamie, and Lucy explore the armors of expectations, complaints, and demands that show up in relationships. We discuss what makes these armor and how they impact our relationships. We talk about the importance of both identifying what we want and need, as well as being willing to express this to our partners. We then delineate and explore two practices that we can use instead: making requests and creating agreements.
Do try this at home:
- Try using the language of requests and agreements vs. expectations, complaints, and demands.
- Ask for feedback from your partner (about how things land for them, about where they stand).
- Be mindful about when you use the armor of expectations, complaints, and demands, and instead, practice making requests and agreements. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself during this process.