In today’s episode, Lucy, Jamie, and Avery talk about all things related to validation. We think of validation as a fundamental communication and healing skill, which, in essence, says “I see you.” There is great power in being seen, heard, and understood just as we are. We explore what validation is and what it is not. (HINT: validation is not approval, agreement, reassurance, judgment, or problem solving.) We share common ways that we invalidate ourselves and others, and we also talk about how to validate. We illustrate all of this with some concrete examples.
In this episode we discuss:
- The rational for why we want to validate ourselves and others
- What it means (and does not mean) to validate
- Common pitfalls of invalidation
- When we should validate
- How to validate
Do try this at home:
- Practice naming your feelings. Write down what you are feeling in the moment. (Remember that feelings are typically one word…thoughts are several words strung together!)
- Be mindful of the process of validation and invalidation, and begin to notice how those feel to you.
- Stay in the present when interacting with another human – avoid going into the past or future.